"It's not what you said, it's the way you said it!"
How many times as an adult have you said that someone, or at least had the thought process when being spoken to? It's also a common line used amongst some referees when dealing with emotional players and coaches. It shows a level of empathy and understanding to a situation, whilst at the same time asserting some control.
This is an extract from a recent job application, underlining how transferrable the communication skills of being an international referee and a school teacher / school leader are:
“When officiating on the international sporting stage, participants can become highly emotional and aggressive at times. Include the likelihood that English is not necessarily their first language, multiple television cameras could be watching every move and thousands of spectators are screaming and shouting, you have a highly pressurised situation that requires acute communication skills, a calm head and an ability to quickly understand other people’s points of view.”
Whether it is a parent who is unhappy about something that happened at school, two children who have just been separated from a fight, a child upset in the classroom following a recent family bereavement or a controversial decision made on the basketball court, the number one focus has to be on dealing with the behaviour whilst remembering said behaviour is coming from a person / people. It can be extremely hard to separate the emotional reactions from the rational decisions, but as a referee and as an educator, it MUST be done. It promotes professionalism, authority and I suppose to some extent, reliability as well.
Related to this, part of my teacher training many moons ago covered a topic called 'the hidden curriculum'... and was one of the most eye-opening units of my studies.
Children watch. They see and hear more than we ever realise (but not necessarily what we want them to!). They mimic and imitate. They also invariably repeat word for word things that shouldn't have been said. The aspect of the hidden curriculum that struck me most though was that children REALLY notice how teachers act towards them. Their body language. Their tone of voice. The use of eye contact. If they've got a new perfume / after shave. Data shared with the trainees even included things such as children noticing whether the teachers had smelly breath, or if a teacher is going through a difficult time outside of school.
Children will also learn to push the boundaries with parents, teachers and especially supply teachers! As a pupil myself, I remember many a fearful, unfamiliar face coming into some of my GCSE Chemistry lessons and the usual suspects acting up and ruining the sessions for those who wanted to learn. (To add some context, our usual Chemistry teacher was off on the sick and a rotation of supply teachers came and went.) That was until Mr Tedder came.
This man single-handedly got us through the entire GCSE Chemistry syllabus in about half a year. He was awesome. Every child knew exactly what the expectations were (and the consequences if they weren't met), spoke to pupils on a level that was respectful but left no doubt as to who was in charge, but also showed that he cared. This skill cannot be measured, but is a vital part of the 'hidden curriculum'. It also proved that pupils will do exactly what the teacher will allow them to. The same is true of parents - how many times does a child approach one parent with a request, get denied so goes to the other parent or relative to get what they want?
Now I have to tread carefully before making this next statement, but there are parallels between these situations and those on the basketball court. Players and coaches will do exactly what the referees allow them to do (and I AM NOT calling international athletes children!) If players sense inconsistency between referees, they will try to use this to their advantage, and this is why our role as referees is not just that of 'guardians of the rules', but as managers of the participants too: players, coaches and colleagues alike.
As referees, we have a very clear set of rules, comments and interpretations to support us in our roles. They are not some sort of secret tome that nobody sees except us - everyone involved in the game should be familiar with them to ensure we are singing from the same hymn sheet, but as humans we all have the capacity for variations of understanding. This can also apply to referees, hence the publication of a document called 'Comments and Interpretations'. This is published approximately 6 months after the updated rule book is released and is designed to iron out the kinks that the wording of the rule book often creates. Attached to each rule are a number of statements, situations, examples and interpretations to assist players, coaches, table officials and referees ensure each game is played not only to the rules, but in the spirit of the rules as well.
Ahead of the Paralympic Games starting, the referees had a number of clinics and meetings to refresh our rules knowledge (remember - the majority of the 24 referees here in Tokyo had not refereed anything in nearly 18 months!) but also to focus on specific areas which the referee supervisors thought would be worth spending more time on. These areas were (WARNING - basketball specific vocabulary coming up) Act of Shooting, Unsportsmanlike Fouls and the use of IRS (Instant Replay System) - the basketball equivalent of football's VAR.
The theme of this update is on behaviour management. IRS allows us to review specific situations at certain times of the game, including looking for any unsportsmanlike conduct. Players and coaches are not allowed to ask for reviews (like they are in tennis, for example), but it doesn't stop them asking, or seeing them drawing an imaginary box in the air! The same is true of school - it is common knowledge that there are CCTV cameras dotted around our school site. Children are savvy creatures and they have been known to ask the teachers to 'check the cameras' to support their version of events when dealing with situations. Speed camera mentality comes to mind as well - how many drivers edge beyond the speed limit only to slow down when they see a speed camera or police van by the side of the road?
So here is a message to players, pupils, parents and people: The BEST thing to do is imagine you are always being watched (even though that is impossible) and conduct yourself accordingly, whether on the basketball court with 3 referees and 6 TV cameras OR in a school corridor/classroom, because you never know - someone might be watching!
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